Far From a Normal Date
by Angelic Guardian
Summary: Tori and Andre go on a date. Simple enough, right? Of course not. Nothing can ever truly go normal for Tori Vega. Oneshot.


**Author's Note:** Yay, my first _Victorious_ fic! :D

I actually didn't get into this show until pretty recently. I mean, I didn't even watch it when it premiered last year. I had seen bits and pieces of episodes, but that was about it. The first full episode I watched was (I think) the Ke$ha one.

But anyway, like _iCarly,_ I think this show is cute and honestly pretty funny at times (Rex cracks me up XD). So, yeah, I really hope you guys enjoy this oneshot. I also hope the characters are actually _in_ character. Be sure to let me know. Thanks! :)

**Disclaimer:** Victorious © Dan Schneider

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><p>Update on<em> The Slap:<em>

**Tori Vega:** Getting ready to go out with Andre tonight! I'm just trying to find my favorite purple tank top…WHERE COULD IT BE?

**Feeling:** Nervousy :\

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><p>"God, where…IS IT?" Tori shouted, frantically searching through the mess of clothes in her closet. She threw article of clothing after article of clothing behind her, adding to the already large pile of carelessly thrown clothes on her bedroom floor. "WHERE IS IT?" She pushed herself deeper into the closet and yanked out a purple sweater. "Aww…darn it!" She tossed the sweater behind her and immediately continued digging through the hangers in her closet.<p>

She was so busy searching that she hadn't even heard someone entering her room.

"Hey, Tori, do you still hav—_whoa,_" Trina said, her eyes bulging at the sight of the ginormous heap of Tori's clothes sprawled all across the carpet. "Um, Tori?"

"WHAT?" the long-haired brunette shouted from inside her closet.

"Uh…" Trina started, hesitantly crossing the doorway of her sister's room. She carefully stepped over a cute black skirt and walked over to Tori's closet. "Why does it look like your closet puked up all of your clothes?"

Tori let out an angry rush of air through her lips, blowing some loose strands of her hair out of her eye.

"Because I'm _trying_," she said with a slight strain in her voice as she leaned forward, trying to reach the farthest corner in her closet. "…to find…" She continued sifting through the hangers, keeping an eye out for anything purple. "…my purple tank top!" When she reached the last hanger, her shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"Oh, really?" she heard Trina say curiously. "Which one?"

Tori ran a hand through her slightly disheveled hair, officially giving up. She'd searched through her _entire_ closet, and her tank top was nowhere to be found.

"You know," she said. "The really cute one with the sequins. It's my favor…ite…" Tori's voice trailed off the moment she turned around and locked eyes onto… _"Trina!"_ she shrieked.

"What?" Trina asked, shrugging one of her shoulders.

"You're _wearing_ my tank top!" Tori shouted, angrily thrusting her hand at her older sister.

Trina looked down at the top she was wearing. Purple with tiny sequins across the neckline. She let out a 'pssh' noise and looked back up at Tori.

"Uh, no, I'm pretty sure that this is _my_ tank top, Tori," she said obnoxiously.

Tori glared at her sister for all of three seconds before she screamed out and lunged herself at her. Trina let out a shrill cry as Tori tackled her to the ground, attempting to rip the tank top off of her.

"GIVE ME BACK MY TANK TOP!" Tori screamed as Trina flailed wildly beneath her.

"NO!" Trina yelled back as she struggled to release Tori's tight grasp she had on the shirt.

"Give…" Tori said, beginning to peel the tank top off, despite the fact that her sister kept trying to wiggle free. "…it!" With a final tug, she yanked the shirt over Trina's head. "HA!" she said triumphantly, pulling herself up so that she could stand again.

Trina huffed as she got to her feet as well, now wearing a white cami that she had on under the tank top.

"You're an animal!" she spat.

"_You're_ a sneaky tank top stealer!" Tori spat back, shaking said tank top in her sister's face.

"Yeah, well, whatever!" Trina lamely responded. "'Cause as soon as you leave for your little date tonight, I'm just gonna come back in here and steal something _else_ of yours to wear and _never_ give it back. So, HA, sista!" As she said that, she made some sort of 'talk to the hand' motion combined with a bizarre little head tilting thing.

Tori furrowed her eyebrows for a moment, amazed at how unbelievably _weird_ her sister was, but she quickly knocked some sense back into herself and shook her head a bit.

"Get out!" she said, pointing to her open door.

Trina stuck her tongue out like an immature little 5-year-old girl, then proceeded to shriek and run like crazy just as Tori gave her another death threatening look. As soon as Trina fled the room, Tori exhaled a huge sigh of relief, before stepping over the pile of clothes to shut her bedroom door.

"Freak," she muttered to herself.

* * *

><p><em>Ding dong.<em>

"I'm coming!" Tori called from upstairs as she rushed down the staircase, her hair, make-up and outfit now all done. She wore the purple tank top with a pair of dark blue jeans. Her hair was straightened, and she had on a pair of flat black shoes that had cute little bows in the fronts of them. When she reached the front door, she stopped and took a deep breath, before opening it. "Hey, Andre," she greeted.

Andre Harris smiled at her.

"Her, Tor," he said casually. "You're looking pretty, as always."

Tori felt a goofy smile spread across her face.

"Andre," she said, as if to say, 'oh, stop.'

"Here," Andre said, presenting a pretty pink flower to her. "For you."

Tori's eyes lit up upon seeing it. A sweet pea! How cute! She happily took it from him, taking a moment to close her eyes and hold it up to her nose, inhaling its sweet scent.

"Andre!" she gushed, looking back up at him. "A sweet pea? That's so…" She reached out to teasingly nudge him on the shoulder. "_…sweet_ of you."

"I thought you might like it," Andre said, still grinning.

"I love it," Tori assured him. "Let me just go put it in a vase really quick."

"Yeah, yeah, no prob," Andre said.

Tori gave him another smile, before she turned around and made her way towards the kitchen. She searched for a glass vase she could stick the flower in. Eventually, she spotted one that held some red tulips in it. She figured that the tulips wouldn't mind having another little flower friend.

As she walked over to the vase to drop her sweet pea into it, she suddenly heard a strange rustling noise coming from outside. Startled, she froze for a moment, before whipping around and peering through the glass door.

"What the…" she whispered to herself. She could see the bush right outside suspiciously rustling about…almost as if someone were _hiding_ inside it.

"What's wrong?" Andre asked as he crossed the living room and walked up to where she was standing.

Tori turned her head to glance at him.

"Uh, I'm not sure, but…" she started, turning her head back to stare at the bush again. "…I think there's someone _hiding_ in that bush right there." She pointed to it.

Andre looked at it, squinting a little to see if he could make out some sort of distinctive shape.

"Oh, yeah, I think I see him…it kinda looks like…is that…_Robbie?_"

"Robbie?" Tori repeated in a shocked tone. Without thinking twice about it, she unlocked the door and pulled it open. Andre followed behind her as she walked right up to the bush and kicked whoever was inside it. The person screamed wildly as the bush shook hard, before a head suddenly came popping up, revealing…

_"Sinjin?"_ Andre and Tori said in unison.

The peculiar, frizzy haired boy gave them a small wave.

"Hello," he said.

Tori and Andre exchanged a look.

"What were you _doing_ in there?" Tori demanded.

"Oh…you know," Sinjin awkwardly began, reaching up to adjust his crooked glasses. "Hanging out. Gazing at the moonlight."

Tori furrowed her eyebrows and put a hand on her hip.

"Yeah, well, would you _mind_ gazing at the moonlight somewhere else?" she asked angrily.

"Yeah," Andre chimed in, "I mean, what kinda dude just stares up at the moon while hiding inside a bush at a lovely lady's house?"

"A handsome one?" Sinjin suggested.

Tori reached up with her free hand to rub at her temple, suddenly feeling a headache coming on.

"Look," she said, deciding to take a different approach, "just get the heck off my property!"

"I will if you agree to go out with me tonight," Sinjin said, so quickly that Tori didn't even register it at first. When she did, however, she was unable to stop herself from pulling a disgusted face.

"No!" she yelled. "And, anyway, I've already got a date with Andre tonight."

"Oh," Sinjin said in a disappointed tone. After a brief moment, he seemed to become hopeful again. "Well, can I at least touch your hair then?"

"What? No!" Tori screamed.

"Can I sniff it?" Sinjin asked.

"No! Get out of here!" Tori shouted.

Sinjin nearly tripped as he jumped out of the bush and clumsily scurried away.

"That is seriously one creepy little dude," Andre commented, and Tori could do nothing but simply nod her head in agreement.

* * *

><p>"So, you enjoying your spaghetti?" Andre asked.<p>

Tori sucked up a thin strand of saucy spaghetti through her circle shaped lips, chewing it for a few seconds before swallowing.

"Yeah, it's really good," she said. "I'm glad you chose this place for our date."

"Well, I'm glad you approve," Andre said with a lighthearted chuckle.

Tori simply smiled as she twirled more strands of spaghetti around her fork. The two sat across from one another at a small, candlelit table inside a fancy little restaurant. The place was decorated with cream colored walls and maroon colored table cloths. It definitely ranked high on the romantic meter, Tori noted. In fact, being that it was pretty fancy, she almost felt a bit under dressed, but seeing that Andre was dressed just as casually made her feel like it didn't really matter too much.

"Hey," Andre said, snapping Tori out of her thoughts.

She glanced up at him but continued chewing, taking a moment to finish, before she asked in curiosity, "What?"

Andre had stabbed his meatball with his fork and was currently holding it up to his face, examining it thoughtfully. He looked back up at Tori.

"Wouldn't it be kinda cool if meatballs came in other shapes besides just circles?" he asked.

"You mean, like…meatsquares?" Tori said.

"Yeah, exactly," Andre said, "or…meattriangles."

"Hmm," Tori hummed, pondering for a moment. "Ooh, what about meatstars?"

"Ooh, yes, meatstars!" Andre said enthusiastically. "I'd definitely eat me one of those. Good call, girl."

Tori giggled, before the two of them went back to enjoying their spaghetti. Just as they were both starting to finish up, Tori suddenly heard someone clear their throat. She froze, holding the fork up to her mouth. Slowly, she lowered it back down to her plate and turned her head to see a surprising figure standing next to their table.

"Uhhhh…Sikowitz?"

"Sikowitz?" Andre repeated in confusion, before he, too, turned his head to see their crazy teacher standing before them.

"Yes, it is I, your beloved acting teacher from Hollywood Arts," Sikowitz announced proudly. "I noticed you two sitting here when I walked in and I just figured I'd stop by and say hello."

"Oh, um, okay," Tori said unsurely. She held up her hand. "Hi."

Sikowitz stroked his chin, seemingly deep in thought.

"Hmmm," he hummed. He removed his hand from his chin to point between the two of them. "By any chance, are you two on a date?"

"Yeah, kinda," Andre said in a sarcastic, 'no, _duh'_ tone.

"Hmmm," Sikowitz hummed again. "Interesting…I never would've guessed that two of my star pupils liked one another."

Tori's eyes widened a bit, but she said nothing, instead just praying that their teacher would come to his senses and politely leave them alone.

"You know," Sikowitz said with a chuckle, "I remember years ago when I asked out one of _my_ classmates. Yes, her name was Penny…or was it Patty?" He paused to think for a moment. "Oh, wait, I remember now. It was Periwinkle."

_"Periwinkle?"_ Andre echoed in disbelief.

"Yes, Peri for short," Sikowitz said. "I believe she was five foot two."

Andre furrowed his eyebrows, as if he were silently asking, 'what on Earth does that have to do with _anything?'_

"Ah, I remember that day," Sikowitz said, fondly reminiscing. "I walked up to her in the hallway, and I said, 'Peri, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me tomorrow night?'"

"And what'd she say?" Tori asked.

"Oh, right, I believe she said, 'I'd rather choke myself to death on this chocolate chip muffin,'" Sikowitz said, then started to chuckle again and shake his head. "Yes, she was a funny one, that Peri…"

"Sounds like something Jade would say," Tori commented.

"Ah, yes, so true," Sikowitz agreed. He said nothing more after that, but he continued standing there, smiling. Tori and Andre stared up at him, both hoping that he would finally get the hint and leave. Instead, though, he pointed to their plates. "Is that spaghetti you're eating?"'

"Um, yeah. It is," Tori said.

"You know what I always thought would go great with spaghetti?" Sikowitz asked, then after a dramatic pause with neither one answering him, he finally said it. "Taco shells."

"Taco shells?" Andre said again in confusion.

"Yes, you know, you would place the spaghetti noodles _inside_ the taco shell," Sikowitz said, "and they could be called…"

"Spaghetti tacos?" Tori offered.

"Yes, spaghetti tacos!" Sikowitz said excitedly. "Don't those sound scrumptious?"

"Scrumptious. Yeah," Andre said. "Um, listen, didn't you…y'know, come in here with someone?"

"Indeed. I came in with…" Sikowitz paused, taking a moment to turn around and scan the restaurant. He spotted who he was searching for and pointed to her. "…that elderly woman over there."

Tori looked in the direction he was pointing in. She saw an old lady sitting in a booth by herself, enjoying some soup.

"Uh, then why is she sitting in the corner eating soup by herself?" Tori asked.

"Oh, well, you see, when I escorted her into the restaurant, she started repeatedly hitting me with her cane and told me to get away from her before she had to take out her pepper spray," Sikowitz explained.

"Wow, that's…" Andre searched for the right word. "…unfortunate."

"Yes," Sikowitz said, although he still had a smile on his face. "Anyway, I don't mean to intrude or anything, but would you two mind terribly if I joined you for dinner?"

Tori's mouth fell open as she looked at Andre, who had a similar look on his face.

"Um…well…" Andre started. "We…"

"We already ate," Tori said for him. It was true, anyway. They _were_ just about finished.

"Oh, that's a shame," Sikowitz said. "I was hoping the three of us could split a quiche."

"A _quiche?"_ Tori asked.

"Yes, it's like a cheese-filled pie," Sikowitz informed her. "Very delicious."

Tori looked at Andre again. She wondered in that moment if he felt the sudden twinge of pity that _she_ felt. She let out a sigh.

"I guess we could split a small quiche," she said reluctantly.

"Wonderful!" Sikowitz said, throwing his hands in the air. He ran off then, probably to grab a chair for himself, Tori figured. She looked back at Andre, who merely shook his head in disappointment.

"What? I felt bad," Tori said. Andre just kept staring at her. "You mad?"

She watched as he stabbed the remaining small piece of his meatball on his plate and popped it into his mouth. He chewed it and swallowed.

"Nah, it's cool," he said. "I felt pretty bad, too. It was sweet of you to invite him to eat with us."

Tori smiled again.

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><p>"Okay, I gotta admit, that quiche <em>was<em> pretty dang delicious," Andre said.

"Best quiche I've ever eaten," Tori agreed. "Well, actually, it was the _only _quiche I've ever eaten…but still, it was really good."

Andre laughed. The two of them walked along the sidewalk outside the restaurant, heading towards the back parking lot, where Andre's car was parked. They had luckily managed to part ways from Sikowitz after the three of them had eaten their quiche and chatted for about another hour.

"So…where to now?" Tori asked, secretly anxious to know what Andre had planned for the rest of their date.

"Well, I was thinking we could go to th—"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

_"AAAAAAHHHHH!"_ Tori shrieked at the top of her lungs, cowering behind Andre in a panic.

"ANDRE!" a familiar voice shouted.

"What the—_Grandma?_" Andre said in complete and utter disbelief.

Tori peeked from behind Andre's shoulder. When she realized that it was, in fact, Andre's grandmother, she allowed herself to relax again.

"Andre!" Mrs. Harris repeated.

"Grandma, _what_ are you doin' here?" Andre demanded.

"ANDRE!" Mrs. Harris screamed again as she reached out for him, clutching a handful of his shirt with one hand as she hastily pulled out a can from her purse with the other. "I CAN'T OPEN MY CAN OF PEAS!"

"Your can of peas?" Andre repeated. "Why would you need t—wait a minute, Grandma, how'd you even get here?"

"I drove! FOR THE PEAS!" Mrs. Harris said, shaking the can in her grandson's face.

"You _drove?_ How the heck could you have driven here?" Andre asked. "Your license has been suspended for the past six years!"

Tori's eyes widened at that, though she didn't dare make a comment, in fear that Andre's grandma would suddenly shriek her usual 'I DON'T KNOW YOU!' before promptly running away while screaming frantically.

"I HAVE RIGHTS AS A WOMAN!" Mrs. Harris stated.

At that point, Andre put a hand to his temple and rubbed it with his fingers, looking like he was trying to relieve himself of a headache.

"Grandma, just _please_ go home!" he pleaded.

"Not 'til you open my PEAS!" Mrs. Harris said.

"Fine, fine, I'll open your precious peas!" Andre said, taking the can from his grandma's hand. "Now, where's your can opener?"

"WHAT'S THAT MEAN?" Mrs. Harris asked, starting to panic and look around.

"Grandma, calm down," Andre said, carefully placing his hand on her shoulder. "Now, listen, you _know_ what a can opener is. It's a device…that opens cans."

Mrs. Harris took a moment to rummage through her large purse. After a few seconds, she pulled out what she was looking for.

"HERE!" she said, slapping something into Andre's free hand. He looked down at it for a moment, before holding it up, allowing Tori to see what it was.

"A salt shaker?" Tori finally spoke up.

"I ENJOY SODIUM!" Mrs. Harris declared, before suddenly taking off and running away like a mad woman.

Andre simply stood there, can of peas in one hand, salt shaker in the other, watching his loony grandma run off into the night. Slowly, he turned around to face Tori.

"At least she decided to walk home," Tori offered, having no clue what else to say about what just happened.

"Let's just get outta here before she comes back," Andre said.

"Right behind you," Tori said, quickly following Andre as he turned and made a break for his car.

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><p>"Oh, wow, Andre, c'mere and look at this!" Tori said excitedly.<p>

Andre walked up next to Tori. She was standing with her hands pressed against the large glass, her face lit up with sparkling blue from the water. She pointed to the group of brightly colored tropical fish behind the tank.

"Look how pretty they are!" she said, her eyes dazzling as she watched the fish swim through the large, rock-like archway inside the tank. "I've always loved coming to this place ever since I was little."

"Yeah, me too," Andre said, staring at the fish as well. After a moment, he got an idea. "Hey, you wanna go check out the turtles?"

"Okay!" Tori said. She eagerly began walking with Andre down the long hall of the aquarium that led to the back where the turtles were located. She had a huge smile on her face the entire time, and it only seemed to widen whenever she stole a glance at Andre and saw that he, too, had an equally big grin on his face.

They really were having a great time.

"Aww," Tori cooed. "Hi, little turtle." She reached down to wiggle her finger at the turtle. As she got closer, the turtle's head suddenly shot upward, attempting to bite her finger. Tori flinched and immediately drew her hand back to her body.

"Hey, bad little snappin' turtle!" Andre said in a scolding tone. "Keep your mouth to yourself."

"It's cool," Tori assured him. She suddenly glanced up at the clock on the wall to see the time. "Ooh, it's getting pretty late. I promised my parents I'd be home by midnight."

"No prob," Andre said. He waved his hand in his direction. "C'mon, I'll drive you home."

"'Kay," Tori said.

The two of them exited the aquarium and headed down the sidewalk. Tori smiled when she felt Andre's arm slip around her shoulders, hugging her close to him. She felt a familiar warm and fuzzy feeling inside her stomach, and she knew that it had to be from butterflies.

So, despite a few bumps in the road — first Trina, then Sinjin, then Sikowitz and, finally, Mrs. Harris — Tori decided that it still turned out to be a really nice date. And with the night almost over, no one else could possibly ruin it now…

"HEAD'S UP!" an unknown voice shouted from…above?

"What the…?" Andre said as he and Tori both stopped walking and looked up.

Something came falling down at lightning speed before either of them had a chance to dodge it. It landed on their heads, exploding, covering them in icy cold…

"MILK?" Tori shouted, her jaw dropping open as milk trickled down every inch of her.

"Aww, man," Andre said in a disappointed tone as he let go of Tori and held out his arms.

"Sorry!" the voice shouted, and Tori glanced up to see the kid, whoever he was, turning around and running down his roof. She slowly lowered her head to look at Andre.

"Wha—Who—_Why?"_ was all she could ask.

"I don't know!" Andre said in all honesty.

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><p>Update on <em>The Slap:<em>

**Tori Vega:** Andre and I just got whacked in the heads by a wet paper mache cow! What did we ever do to you, cow? HUH? You big, milk-filled jerk!

**Feeling:** Grouchy }:C

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><p>"What a way to end the night," Tori said through an exasperated sigh. Her hair was all tangled up and stringy now, since she'd tried to wring the milk out as much as she could before she got into Andre's car. Her clothes were still very damp as well, as were his. She knew she'd definitely have to take a nice hot shower when she got home.<p>

"I just don't understand," Andre said, clutching the steering wheel as he made a right turn, approaching Tori's block. "Who puts up a paper mache cow on the _roof_ of their house? I mean, really, was that kid trying to decorate or something?"

"Maybe it was for a school project," Tori said, then added with another sigh, "Only in LA."

"So true," Andre said as he pulled up in front of Tori's house. He put his car into park and turned off the ignition. "C'mon, I'll walk you to your door."

As Tori unbuckled her seat belt and opened the car door, she couldn't help but suddenly think of something.

"So, um," she started, "this wasn't exactly a normal date, was it?"

"Not unless you count sharing dinner with your teacher and randomly getting hit by a cow 'normal'," Andre said jokingly.

Tori smiled, walking in tow with Andre as she reached her front porch.

"Yeah, but," she started again, stopping just in front of her door. She turned to face him. "It's like what you told me on my first day at Hollywood Arts."

A small smile stretched across Andre's face, and Tori knew that he remembered.

"What was that again?" he asked anyway, as if to tease her.

He carefully tucked a wet clump of Tori's hair behind her ear. She smiled wider as his fingers gently grazed her cheek, and before she even knew what was happening, her eyes were falling shut. She melted as she felt a pair of warm lips meet her own, gently, softly. It lasted only a few moments, before he pulled away, very slowly, allowing the warmth to linger between them.

"Normal's boring," she said at last.

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><p>Update on<em> The Slap:<em>

**Tori Vega:** Just got home from the WEIRDEST date in the history of dates, but…was it also the BEST date I've ever been on? Absolutely.

**Feeling:** Elated ;)

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> So…what did you think? (Kinda weird with the cow part; I know. XD I honestly have no idea where that came from…) Feedback is greatly appreciated! :)


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